Thursday, April 21, 2011


I swore I wasn't going to follow the election. I was going to boycott the media until mid-May but I can't help myself. I'm a junkie. I do love this country and I do care about its future. I don't think Harper is a good fit for the kind of Canada I want to live in. Sadly though, I'm in one of those ridings that is rabidly Conservative so my vote is really just a "Hey, I don't want you for my MP!" shout out. Maybe someday, but this guy does so well every election it may not be in my lifetime. He is one of the more silent of the silent 13 though. Except when he's apologizing to a Supreme Court Judge, or resigning from a Commons Cttee for inappropriate comments. But, nevermind. Your mileage may vary and I respect that. That is one thing I have noticed in this campaign. A very real and frightening lack of respect for differing views. Reminds me a bit of some recent American elections :(
Laughs are few and far between in this campaign so here's my contribution. It's non-partisan and even 'politically correct'.

While walking down the street one day a 'Member of Parliament' is

tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems
there's a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you
see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is
have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity.'

'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes
down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the
middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing
in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake
his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich
at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who
has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They're having such a
good time that before he realizes it, it's time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where
St. Peter is waiting for him.

'Now it's time to visit heaven.'

So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls
moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now
choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never
have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would
be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down
to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a
barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and
putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't
understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne,
and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of
garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?'

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning...

Today you voted.'


  1. That's a great joke, except the jokes on every person who's ever voted.

  2. Too true! I voted in the advance polls (my personal shout out ;-))and was so pleased to see how busy it was. We really do take our rights for granted in this country. Maybe all the uprisings across the planet by people who don't have our rights has been a wake up for Canadians? Or else it's the holiday weekend and people have more time on their hands....;-)

  3. And are you not feeling more excited about it all on election eve? All of a sudden it got super exciting!!

    And I keep wanting to say, "So what if Jack screwed a masseuse? Harper screwed Canada!!!"